Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
