We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
