Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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