My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
