It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
