ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm like, not good at living.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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