3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
