Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
