just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
