Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
if only i could text you this smell
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
