Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
