Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
This is the high leading the old right now
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize