I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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