I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
