I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
