I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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