Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
