and you said cock pushups were impossible
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
