if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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