I cockslap morals
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
