idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
