She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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