if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
