we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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