I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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