Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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