this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
