the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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