If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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