Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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