She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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