Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize