We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
