well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
