For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
