At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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