i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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