I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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