I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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