I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
