YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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