Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
