I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
