I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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