dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
