Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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