clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
