If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
