i just google imaged poop.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
