just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
