Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
