I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize