I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
