Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
