His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
