Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
