so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize