guys are not supposed to queef...right?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
