Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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