In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
