i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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