You work out of a Hotel?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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