great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
