I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize