I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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