Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
God I need to hump something, right now.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
