I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I just want nice things and good sex
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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