Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize