you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
