i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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