He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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