sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize