Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
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