it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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