So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize