respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
