I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
