Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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